AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT - A LOVE STORY

"Remember I love you," I say. 

"I can never forget you for a moment," he says. "We're not two people but one. You're the raison d'être for my heartbeat, darling. I love you for e-ter-ni-ty." 

When I reach home several hours later I call him. I want to tell him I've arrived safely but he's forgotten I was there. 

"When are you coming?" he says. "Please come at the speed of light!" 

"I just got home from you," I say. 

"Oh really? Well, come at dawn then…" 

- The man who keeps falling in love with his wife

孤独

独处就像一场修行，路上会伴随着孤独，但最终，你会遇见真实的自己，获得心灵的自由。

Z 非常害怕寂寞。有一次下班后经过某快餐店，发现自己的大姐正在里头哽炸鸡！赶紧进去关心一下。姐，你怎么一个人?! 

哦，出来买东西。饿了，进来吃点 ... 哎呀你是怎么了? 原来Z哭了! 她告诉我: 看见我的姐姐一个人吃饭，觉得她好可怜。有儿有女的，为何要这般孤单? 禁不住泪水 ... 

Z问我：常听你说一个人去吃饭、旅行。你是怎么做到的？ 

我想是因为我是独生女的关系吧？从小父母把我管得很严，好友没几个，所以个性是有点儿孤独啦。到了适婚年龄还没有适合的另一半，母亲看我不着急便会碎碎念 “以后孤零零时，一定会后悔的!” 已婚的朋友也说”我们几个死党都结婚了，只剩你啦!” 或 “骗人的吧?? 我就不信你一个人可以过得那么开心!” 

“后悔”、”剩你”、”不信你能快乐” - - 这类的话让我决心更独立、过得更好。败犬不需要追，也不用等。有个伴是好事，没有的话我自己玩。不图在职场上叱咤风云，但绝不当平庸无能的“胜犬”。 

Z不一样。她有十个兄弟姐妹，习惯了人多，热闹的气氛。婚后与家人的感情还是非常好。无论办喜办丧，一家40多口人一定聚在一起互相扶持。那是她的福气。一旦要Z一个人生活，她会觉得茫然。前天Z帮上司购物, 去了趟商场。事情办完后已是午餐时分。好想在食阁吃个饭才回办公室，但又不敢一个人吃，一直迟疑着。 终于付出了极大的勇气，排队买了平时最爱吃的鱼片米粉汤。捧着乘着食物的托盘，一边找位子，一边寻觅熟悉的脸孔。可惜找了半天都没半个认识的人啊！她告诉我：那一刻我双手开始发抖，脑子里闪过了 “别吃了! 就随便把食物遗弃在某处，开溜吧！” 的念头。后来看到一位女士，似乎也是一个人。 硬着头皮上前搭讪，女士说：我们就一起吃吧。

太好了，不用一个人用餐！一切的委屈和尴尬瞬间全消。  

可悲得可怕。

牵一只蜗牛去散步

Drawing by Fun @chillicrabkitchen

上帝给我一个任务，叫我牵一只蜗牛去散步。

我不能走得太快，蜗牛已经尽力爬，每次总是挪那么一点点。
我催它，我唬它，我责备它，蜗牛用抱歉的眼光看着我，彷佛说： “人家已经尽了全力！”
我拉它，我扯它，我甚至想踢它，蜗牛受了伤，它流着汗，喘着气，往前爬。
真奇怪，为什么上帝叫我牵一只蜗牛去散步？

“上帝啊！为什么？”天上一片安静。
“唉！也许上帝去抓蜗牛！”
好吧！松手吧！反正上帝不管了，我还管什么？
任蜗牛往前爬，我在后面生闷气。

咦？我闻到花香，原来这边有个花园。
我感到微风吹来，原来夜里的风这么温柔。
慢着！我听到鸟叫，我听到虫鸣，我看到满天的星斗多亮丽。
咦？以前怎么没有这些体会？

我忽然想起来，莫非是我弄错了！
原来上帝叫蜗牛牵我去散步。

作者: 张文亮

喜欢 . 一个人

人生终将也是一场单人的旅行。 

同事A到巴塞罗那旅游，寄住朋友家。朋友每天陪她四处走，带她去吃好吃的，介绍她好玩的。“这个你一定要试试…那里你非去不可…” 朋友的过度热诚反而让A觉得压力好大，几天后决定搬进饭店。她告诉我：I needed my own space. 

我能理解。 曾经读过一篇文章，細写外向与内向的个人偏好。外向的人从外界获取能量，因而喜欢社交环境。内向的人从自身获得能量，所以累的时候喜欢独处；喜欢一个人吃饭、看戏、旅行，对单独行动有动巨大的满足感。我，是个非常珍惜个人空间的人。 

对我而言有人陪伴虽是福份，但累的时后总向往一片自由的天空。一个人坐在露天cafe，悠闲地阅读；一个人搭长途巴士，静静地欣赏窗外的一景一物；一个人站在窗前发呆，看云 － 都是我放松的方式。 

“没有人给你作伴，让你一个人吃饭，看戏，好可怜哦！” 朋友Moon就不能理解我为何喜欢独处，“我就从不敢一个人吃饭，shopping。有一次试着自己吃饭，进了餐厅坐下，感到很awkward, as if all eyes are on me. 觉得餐厅里的人都在悄悄谈论着我，说我独自一人用餐好可怜！结过我没点餐就逃了出来。“ 

我反觉得Moon有这种想法还挺 pathetic 呢！:) 

最近公司的APAC Conference被取消了。本想趁这空档一个人跑去台北充电。不料父亲前几天跌伤了，所以我就不去了。以为饭店定金和廉价机票报全都报销，没想到lose out 的只是airfare而已！航空公司还是会把taxes 归还的。 Dandy Hotel (Tianjin Branch)对我也好好哦。当我说明取消的理由后她们竟然把定金都还我耶！ 我曾告诉过你关于台湾人情味，对吧？准备再次入住丹迪旅店就是这原因啊！呼吁大家多到台湾玩，去台北时一定要住丹迪旅店（天津店）哦！

THE DANDELION GIRL - A LOVE STORY

Her eyes were blue, he saw when he came up to her - as blue as the sky that framed her slender, silhouette.  Her face was oval and young and soft and sweet.  It evoked a deja vu so poignant that he had to resist an impulse to reach out and touch her wind-kissed cheek.

He looked at her closely.  He had never seen such a guileless countenance. "And do you come her often?"

"Oh, yes.  This is my favorite space-time coordinate.  I stand here for hours sometimes and look and look and look.  Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you."

Next afternoon when he climbed the hill it was empty.  At first his disappointment numbed him, and then he thought, She's late, that's all.  She'll probably show up any minute.  And he sat down on the granite bench to wait.  But she did not come.  Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you.

Extracted from The Dandelion Girl by Robert F. Young

OUT OF MY MIND

Awoke this morning with this image in my mind.  Couldn't get it out of my head.

Since it's determined not to leave there is no reason why it shouldn't stay.

Out Of My Mind Into My Head Apr 27, 2013

Perhaps I'm going out of my mind.

COUGH

"My name is Vicious and I'm a hairy worm."

The three separate visits to the doctor didn't help.  First it was flu, with fever of 38.5 degrees C at one point. My entire body was on fire. Fortunately that only lasted two days but I’m now plagued by a vicious cough that won’t go away! It is as if I had accidentally swallowed a hairy worm. It would resurface at the edge of my throat without my prior consent, bringing on a bout coughing fits.

On some days I feel like a SARS victim. Commuters on the MRT and buses throw wary glances as soon as I start to cough. Passengers in the same elevator cringe. My colleagues have stopped trying to engage me any decent conversation because when I try to speak, the worm would come out to play.  At other times I croak, and no one understands a word.  When it gets too cold, I cough. When I try to sleep, I cough. There’s nothing more unbearable.

In another 15 days, Tammy and I will be on our holiday in Bangkok. I can't bear to think that I should miss out on all the tasty Thai food. Will someone please get this awful worm away from me!

SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE

Whenever I gaze upon a painting by Canadian artist Coplu, I'm reminded of sunshine and Happy Feet.

My favourite Coplu painting depicts a lone man playing the violin to a heart-shaped balloon that seems to be floating away, and he is trying to woo Love back with a serenade. "Oh, so lonesome!" I cried when I first laid eyes on it. At least, that was how I interpreted it.

It is in a gallery called Ode To Art that I first came across the whimsical artworks by Coplu. I fell in love with the vibrant colours and cartoon-like figures (usually of a couple or a man) all paying homage to Dreams and Love. 

When my work day ends, I enjoy strolling by the gallery window, where the latest and most prominent pieces are displayed, and smile at each Coplu artwork. Occasionally one of the pieces would disappear and my heart would sink a little.  I would then move to the gallery entrance and peer inside hoping to catch sight of the missing piece. “Ah it’s still there!” and I my heart does a little tap dance. Most of time, it meant the painting had been sold and my heart would weep a little.  Unlike Coplu who is selfless when it comes to love, I am unable to let go.

You see, I later learnt that the painting that I like is entitled "Emanticipation of Romance".  "Emanticipation" means "relinquishing control".  So in reality the little man was setting Romance free, bidding goodbye graciously with a D Major.  Truly heartwarming.

I dream that  I would one day bring Coplu home.  In the meantime,  晴晴 (true to her name) brought the sunshine with her when she arrived last month. 

After some prompting, the promising young artist shyly affixed her signature. Some day in the near future she’ll be as sought after as Coplu.  (Go, girl!)

Remember, you met her here first!

HONG KONG: RESTORATION

It has been 7 weeks since my last post. Friends wanted to know what I've been up to. You know what, I have absolutely NO idea! Some days I felt like a hamster on a wheel - working really hard but I'm not going anywhere. There are times that I just wanted to scream and burst into tears.  It has been pretty stressful.

Seriously needed time away so I escaped to Hong Kong during the Good Friday weekend. I had originally intended to sneak in and out of the country without informing a soul, just so that I can spend much alone time hiding in my hotel room to feel sorry for myself. I'm glad I didn't do something silly like that after all.

Friends turned up with planned activities and dinner invitations. These humans are such treasures and I'm so, so, so overwhelmed by their warmth and generosity.  With fab food, plentiful conversations and cool company, came restoration.  It's hard to express my gratitude towards these amazing people.  I thank you all so much.

Tammy sacrificed much of her bank holiday to spend time with me.  She showed me her favourite haunts and invited me and a few other close friends to her home for dinner.  Even her young niece drew pictures to cheer me up. I simply must show them off to you here. Isn't 晴晴 a talented little girl?  Great things are in store.  Step aside, Coplu!  

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