AWKWARD

On Monday morning I was in the gym and watched a young girl with her personal trainer. The PT muttered something to her and she immediately did 8 or 10 star jumps in rapid succession. She made it look like a breeze but when I attempted it this morning I realised that I just CAN'T do it! 

Wouldn't it be awkward if I were wearing Nike's?

DUO PERSONALITY

Tonight my father’s second personality came out to play.

Mo Luo Su (摩啰酥)

My grandmother used to buy Mo Luo Su (摩啰酥) when I was a kid. Dad still loves them very much so we would buy them for him quite often. Last Saturday he claimed that he was tired of eating MLS. He has a box on his bedside table that is his cookie jar. I took a peek inside and sure enough he still had 2 MLS left, untouched.

This evening I got Dad some Madeleines for a change. When I opened Dad's cookie box to put the madeleines inside, I noticed that there was only one MLS left. Dad had taken a bite out of it. 

Me: Hey, who took a bite out of your cookie?

Dad A: (chuckles) It was me!

I handed him a madeleine to try.

Dad B: This cake tastes terrible. I much prefer the Mo Luo Su. 

Me: So why didn’t you finish the last MLS? Why did you take a bite and put it back?

Dad B: I didn’t take a bite!  YOU did!

The nursing home staff served Milo and bread.

Me: Eat the bread, Dad.

Dad A: (Shakes his head) I’m still full from dinner. They treated us to Kway Chup!

Me: Was there a braised egg?

Dad A: No.

Me: Was there braised pork?

Dad A: No, they can't afford to serve pork in this place.

Me: How about tau pok?

Dad A: Yes, tau pok. And long beans.

Me: Long beans in Kway Chup?!

Dad A: Yup! The long beans were delicious! 

Me: Ok, so you don’t feel like having the bread now?

Dad A: (shakes his head)

Me: How about the Milo?  Will you have sip?

Dad B: (snorts) Don't be stupid.  This isn't Milo!

Me: Yes it is.  Take a sip.

Dad B: I’m telling you I’m still full from the kway chup. There was braised egg, pork, tau pok and long beans! You’d better take this Milo and bread away or I’m going to throw it in your face!

I hastily removed the cup of Milo and bread.

Dad A: (mutters) I have to keep my money safe. I cannot leave ... to my 2 sons ... 2 daughters ... all good for nothing.

As far as I know, I’m an only child.

Me: You have 2 sons?

Dad A: That’s correct.

Me: What are their names?

Dad A: I don't remember.

Me: Where are they now?

Dad A: They died in a flood.

Me: Seriously?  Are you talking about humans or piglets? 

Dad A: I supposed they were piglets …

Me: (teases him) I think I’m a good daughter, don’t you?

Dad B: (gestures towards the cookie box) Says who?! If you’re a good daughter you won’t be feeding me fake MLS!

Me: They are sponge cakes, Dad.

Dad B: Take the entire box away with you before I smash it!

JUNKED!

Had lunch with a friend at KFC last Sunday. Before this, the last time I ate fast food was in July this year when KFC launched its Zhi Char inspired Cereal Chicken. It was a terrible experience. Not only did the chicken tasted awful, the wait was far too long. 

Yet on Sunday when my friend asked me “BK or KFC?” (she was holding vouchers to both) I foolishly chose KFC. I had two pieces of fried chicken + a large Pepsi. Pure greed. 

I paid the price the very next morning. As soon as I awoke, my chest was tight, my legs were like lead, and I was perspiring heavily. I felt like I was a slimy slice of ham that is close to expiry.  Despite my discomfort I wobbly made my way into the gym but just as I approached the rowing machine I kinda tripped over myself and flop!  I was on the ground like a discarded soft toy.  I quickly picked myself up and acted like nothing happened.  Good thing no one noticed.

On the other hand, bad thing nobody noticed.  This slice of ham could've expired right there and then – and no one would be aware until much later!

The smell would’ve been appalling.

CHICKY BUNS

I had intended to make Chicky Buns yesterday but life threw a passion fruit seed at me. It hit me hard. 

Still, the pain didn’t stop me from putting together the chicken filling last evening. I also prepared an Old Dough and left it to ferment overnight in the fridge. 

Today, after lunch, I mixed and kneaded the dough.  Then I attended an hour of Pilates.

When I got back about 90 minutes later the dough had finished its first proof.  It was wise use of my time.

*****

Makes 7 (after holding back 115 grams of dough to act as starter for my next batch of bread) 

Bread dough: 17 grams caster sugar, 1 packet (5 grams) Shirakami Kodama Koubo, 5 grams salt, 250 grams Reve de Lapin flour, 30 grams low fat milk, 160 grams water, 10 grams butter (softened), 115 grams Starter 

Pâte fermentée (old dough): 125 grams bread flour, 75 grams water, 1/4 teaspoon instant yeast, 1/4 teaspoon salt 

Placed in a lightly oiled plastic bag to rest overnight in the fridge 

Brine for the chicken thighs: 150ml apple cider, 300ml water, 20 grams salt 

Marinated for 5 hours 

Filling: 2 (should’ve bought 3) boneless chicken thighs (roasted and diced), 1 tablespoon dried cranberries, shredded cheese 

Topping: milk, dried rosemary 

Proofing: 90 minutes + 15 minutes + 75 minutes 

Baking: 200 degrees C, middle rack, 17 min

THE EVIL FRUIT

Lost a perfectly good tooth to a darn passion fruit seed. Every Dental Health Association around the world should issue an official warning about the danger of the passion fruit seed. 

Had the day all planned out - go to the wet market, come home to prepare a Starter for my bread, go to the gym, lunch with my mum, then spend the afternoon making bread. Didn't happen.  Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. In my case, it is a passion fruit seed. 

Didn't see that one coming. 

#passionfruitphobia #passionfruitisevil

ALL ZEST UP TUNA BUNS

Made it to the gym at 6:30am thrice in 6 days. Feeling super good about myself.

Today is Deepavali holiday.  I made Tuna Buns.  Spiking the tuna with lime zest and chilli flakes was a real brainwave!

On a trip to Taipei in September, I managed to lay my hands on a pack of Hokkaido bread flour named “The bunny that loves to dream” (爱作梦的小兔子). It came with a recipe. 

I don’t read Japanese so I asked the very nice Aiko from our Tokyo office to translate the names of the ingredients for me. If you're interested, here is what she came back with: 

17 grams sugar
3 grams dried yeast
5 grams salt
6 grams skimmed milk (I’m assuming it’s milk powder)
250 grams flour
180 grams water
10 grams butter, softened

A staff in Champion Hands recommended an instant yeast - Shirakami Kodama Koubo (白神酵母) - suitable for bread machine dough. She suggested 1 packet (5 grams) of said Koubo (yeast) for every 250 grams of flour. 

I kneaded my bread dough by hand using the technique which I learnt at Brettschneider's.

*****

Makes 6

Bread dough: 17 grams caster sugar, 1 packet (5 grams) Shirakami Kodama yeast, 5 grams salt, 250 grams Reve de Lapin flour, 45 grams low fat milk, 135 grams water, 10 grams butter (softened)

Filling: 2 x 150 grams tuna flakes in sunflower oil, 1 small red onion (finely chopped), 1 teaspoon lime zest, 1/2 teaspoon dried chilli flakes, 2 tablespoons Japanese mayonnaise, a pinch of sea salt

Topping: shredded cheese, dried Italian herbs

Proofing: 60 minutes + 15 minutes + 60 minutes

Baking: 200 degrees C, middle rack, 17 minutes

SIGN OF OLD AGE?

The other day Dad asked about a eatery we used to frequent.

Dad: Do you remember (name of shop)?

Me: Yes. The one with the roasted meats. (Dad nods profusely.). Do you want me to buy you some next week? 

Dad (shakes his head): No.

Me: So what made you bring it up?

Dad: I want you to buy me a roll of toilet paper.

***

Sometimes I wonder whether Dad is the only one in the family who suffers from dementia.

Tammy had sent me a super cute "owl" hair clip from Hong Kong. I wore it to the nursing home to show it off to Dad.

Me (points to the hair accessory on my head): Look Dad, look!  Do you know what this is?

Dad: No

Me: Do you know what animal?

Dad (shakes his head): Don’t know.

Me: Luncheon meat ...

Mum: Say what?!

Me (face turning crimson from embarrassment): Did I just say “luncheon meat”?  I meant to say “owl”!

WHY on earth did I say "luncheon meat"?  It just made no sense.

***

Yesterday I complained about having body ache to my co-worker, Christina.

Me: My muscles are aching. I think I might be coming down with ‘flu or something.

Chris: Do you have fever? You should take McDonalds.

Me: What?! WHY?

Chris: HAHAHAHA!!! Did I just say “McDonalds”? I meant to say “Panadol”!

***

Chilli Crab is now on Instagram !

10 GOOD YEARS

Happy 10th birthday, Chilli Crab Kitchen!

朴实的料理

今天的小确幸。

昨晚告诉母亲我想吃三黄蛋，今天中午87岁的老母竟亲自下厨。 

蒸三黄蛋、马铃薯煮猪肉片，配上清粥。很简单，很朴实。这样就让我感到很满足，很幸福。

拥有幸福感的关键，是“知足”。- 卫藤信之