Thursday 2 February 2012

WANTED: HITMAN


Awoke at 5AM.  Badly needed to pee.  Sat on the toilet bowl, still half asleep. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw it! Rubbing its feelers together gleefully and grinning at me from the towel rail in the vilest manner. I was suddenly awake as fear gripped me and I told myself, "Quick! Finish peeing and get out before it comes any closer!"

Even at five in the morning I was able to plot my next moves: flush, wash hands, (no, don’t even bother to switch off the bathroom lights!) then make a dash for the safety of my bedroom. Close the door and all will be well. The darn roach must have read my mind because it lifted its wings just as I starting running.  Before I could shut the bedroom door fully it already followed me inside! I gave a terrified yelp and leapt outside! At that very moment, my mother appeared in the darkened hallway and, by the faint light emitting from the bathroom, watched the animation without amusement.  “It’s only an insect," she observed.  “It’s a COCKROACH!“ I squealed, "And it’s in my bedroom!” 

She switched on the lights and surveyed the bedroom. My mother is courageous in the face of evil. “It isn’t here anymore.”

Convinced that the vile creature is still well concealed and lying in wait, I quickly gathered my pillows and went to sleep in my parents’ room. :)

I need an exterminator! 我要请杀手!

How do cockroaches make their way up to my 35th floor apartment?  My globetrotting French boss has a theory about this.  "You know they don't fly direct, don't you?" speaking like a true frequent flyer.  "They make stopovers.  First they fly to the 6th floor, rest, then up to the 15th floor, then 20th floor, etc .."  Maybe he is right.

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