FREE !

We grieve because we have loved.

A young sage once told me that grief comes and goes in waves. It has been a month but still grief hadn't caught up.

I remember vividly the day I sent him into the nursing home. I had cried buckets. I still do, whenever I remember that day. After that day I started to see him everywhere - on the bench below our flat, in the coffee shop (that he once visited every morning), while crossing the street ... my heart ached for him then.

Strangely, I don't miss him as much now. After all, he is in a better place. A few people have asked me whether he has appeared in my dreams. My answer is "No, I think he might have gone fishing."

REST IN PEACE, DAD!

Dad passed away on Monday the 12th of August 2024.   His funeral was on Thursday the 15th, and put to rest in Peck Shan Theng yesterday, the 16th.  He was 95.

In 2001, Dad had the foresight of pre-purchasing two columbarium niche for Mum and himself back in 2001.  The word “columbarium” comes from the Latin word “columba.” It means “dovecote” or “nesting place for doves.”  

Doves often represent new beginings.  

I'd like to think that Dad has now transformed into a dove and he is in a better place - free of unhappiness, illness and pain.

AU REVOIR

French Kiss by Huebucket

I wish you bluebirds in the spring

To give your heart a song to sing

And then a kiss, but more than this

I wish you love

FRESHLY BAKED

Nothing beats the smell of fresh bread in the morning.  

Last night, I made the dough and left it the fridge for the final proof.  

Up at 7:30 this morning to bake bread but Mum sent me on an errand.  Before I headed out, I removed the dough from the fridge and set it on the dining table to thaw.

Shoved the pan inside a pre-heated 200 degrees C oven at around 8:30AM.  

Got to eat hot, buttery homemade tear-apart butter buns before 9.  How cool is that?

Mum says the bread has "good flavour".  Thanks to the overnight fermentation of the dough.

Bread dough: 250 grams Casarine flour, 1 packet (5 grams) Shirakami Kodama Koubo, 25 grams caster sugar, 2.5 grams salt, 110 grams milk, 70 grams water, 25 grams butter

Filling: 45 grams butter (5 grams x 9)

Check chillicrabkitchen out on Instagram!

SEEING CLEARLY

 The things that I've discovered after my cataract surgeries are:

1. All colours are richer and more vivid.

2. The pigmentation on my skin is worse than I thought!

3. My black backpack is actually quite dusty!

CATARACT SURGERY II

Had cataract surgery performed on my left eye this morning.  Unlike the last one, I was awake throughout the entire procedure today.  It wasn't scary at all but I'm glad it's all over for both my eyes.  Hurray for ultra HD vision!

I've been relying on my friend and coworker, Donna, to help me out with work while I'm on medical leave.  She is holding the fort marvellously.  Truly cannot ask for a more fantastic colleague.  

Gotta rest my eye.  See you back here in a few days.

CATARACT SURGERY I

During a Team Lunch at the start of 2020, everyone took turns to share their New Year’s Resolution. When it came to my turn, I announced, “I’ve spent a great deal of time taking care of other people - both in my job and my personal life. This year I want to take care of myself.” 

At that point, I had signed up for gym membership and had already completed 8 sessions with a personal trainer. The next thing I did was started the process of having cataract surgery done. My right eye was in bad shape. Surgery was originally scheduled for the Apr 21 but postponed to Jun 9 due to Covid-19.

When I went in for pre-op assessment on the morning Mar 19, my blood pressure reading was 140/xx (cannot remember the lower number). The nurse said gently that it would be good if we can bring the upper number down to 130. I tried to relax and the reading reluctantly snailed to 138, then 135. 

I’d be crazy to let a set digits hold me back from surgery so I went on a diet. On the morning of the surgery, the reading was 128/xx. Still couldn’t figure out the lower number ‘cos I wasn’t wearing my glasses. The two nurses who had been staring intently at the monitor cried out in unison, “VERY GOOD!” and I mentally petted myself on the back. 

A day before surgery, I told Krishnan, “I suppose they’ll need to clamp my right eye open throughout the 20-min surgery. The question is: Do I keep my left eye open, or close?” I needn’t have been concerned because I was given a sedative “to calm down” and I ended up being asleep the entire time. 

Am looking forward to set a date to have surgery on my left eye so I can have UHD vision!